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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Pregnant.

PREGNANT

The word blew me away. It was written on a website called oneword.com, because one word is what is needed to make a lifetime impact.
The word was impeccably interesting to me when I was married and when I returned to Malaysia from UK. I looked forward to being a mother. A woman can never feel complete if that motherly role is omitted from her life. It doesn't matter whether the child is biological or adopted. I guess female machines are made particularly for a reason.

Now that I am single again, my motherly instinct still exists, (like a supply of water flowing from a pipe and suddenly pipe breaks, supply leaks) but I can't imagine how I can be pregnant. Unbelievably, the words that came out from my mum's mouth- adopt one. Yes, I know that is something more feasible. Would I want to be a single mum? The more pressing issue here is that I am not capable of supporting another life, financially and more importantly mentally and emotionally. Or maybe I think I can't!

The responsibility is tremendously powerful and overly mind-boggling.

God, will I ever get to see my biological child in this life? Or being childless is my karma on earth?

5 comments:

  1. Rani, if this is what you really want, then go for it - a woman who really wants to be a mother will be a great mother. I am not saying that you wont make mistakes but it will be a worthwhile journey although you must be aware of how much having/adopting a child will impact on your life style choices/finances, etc.

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  2. hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

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  3. Jane Sunshine: Yes, I would love to have a child, but first I must get a high-paid job to support two mouths.

    Hapi: thanks for stopping by. have also linked you to my blog!

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  4. Rani - If it is your cards, it will happen. In the meantime - take heart that you have ppl who love you and who you can love in return.x

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  5. Mirebella- I have yet to meet u in person, but i'm sure u r a darling. thanks for the kind words and congrats on the new phase of life!

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